My Life in Three Episodes

by Carol Dorf

The History Of Our Pets

At first the photo seemed cute to be sure, child and beast.

Later when I asked my mother why she had allowed it, as though everyone expected the five year old to take care of the family alligator, she said, “That was a lifetime ago” and “my, you certainly have a gift for stating the obvious.”

Now we didn’t have the kind of relationship where I could dispute her inauthenticity or even throw my book at the wall. Instead I said, “Wasn’t Alli a tasty dish to set before the queen.”

Unwilling, even now, to let me have the last word, she replied, “It’s all on me — do I look like carnival trash?”

On Travel In The Age Of Sharing

I’m more a Hotel Standard kind of a person but I’m married to a man who wants Historic District signs on every corner so we ended up in a place whose name I couldn’t pronounce. All they have to drink is schnapps and given the cold you need it three times a day. I can’t exactly say I was nervous though it did look a bit like the kind of place where their ancestors rallied before attempting to kill mine (my family’s theme song at the holidays is, they tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat).

In any case when I found torn purple petals in the bathroom sink, I told my husband, “That’s a good enough sign for me, I’m outta here.”

I took off in the rental car and Mr Historic was left to figure out his own transportation.

On A Journey

Leaving the house gets more and more difficult. Did I turn off the stove? Feed the cats? Answer my emails?

When I head outside, the heat breaks open, and I think the bus will take forever to arrive. Why travel, when you are already here?

That’s what my mother said after she moved on to paradise.

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One Response to “My Life in Three Episodes”

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