by Rob Daughenbaugh


(ROB, with a “Dog Trainer” vest on, and clicker in hand, is seated in a chair with his arms crossed. Enter SANTOS.)


Man, where’s your dog?


(Indicating with a head nod) She’s sitting right there. . . .


There you go again with all that craziness. You’re nuts, you know. There ain’t no dog there!


Really?! Well, you just watch this! (He looks at an imaginary dog beside him) Sit! . . . . (“Click”) Good girl!


That proves it. You’re certifiable. You forgot to take your skittles, didn’t you?


Down! . . . . (“Click”) Good girl!

(Beat. SANTOS just stares at ROB and shakes his head.)


You wanna pet my dog?


Man, there’s no dog there. You need to see a psych and get an upgrade on your meds because obviously they aren’t working.


There’s nothing wrong with me. Could it be that thou dost protest too much?


You’re gonna throw the Bard at me. You’re not in some acting class. I think your reality has shifted. Earth to Rob, earth to Rob: Come home ET.


Just because you can’t act doesn’t mean I’m nuts. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times, acting isn’t hard. You simply have to react to what’s going on around you. It’s like improv: stay in motion. Give it a try. Just act like there’s a dog there and pet her.


You’re not acting. You’re delusional is what you are.


Look, for once take a leap a faith. Just give it a try. You might be the next John Travolta or Justin Bieber or Bruno Mars. You gotta start somewhere. Just come over here and pretend you’re petting my dog.

(SANTOS comes over, squats and acts like he’s petting the dog.)


(Clicks the clicker) GOOD BOY!

(SANTOS jumps up and acts embarrassed.)






more Prisoner Narratives

more Voices of the Disenfranchised


Facebooktwitterlinkedinrssby feather
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmailby feather

2 Responses to “Click”

  1. what are laser checks Says:

    Great site you’ve got here.. It’s hard to find good quality writing
    like yours nowadays. I seriously appreciate people like you!
    Take care!!

  2. » Blog Archive » The Art of Sustaining a Still Popular Website in an Age of Social Media Says:

    […] imagined you could plummet: our Prisoner Narratives— with Jenean, “Kevin,” Rob and Sheriff Marty; our Disability Narratives— including Hacking Mobility: […]

Leave a Reply

Welcome to
Defenestrationism reality.

Read full projects from our
retro navigation panel, left,
or start with What’s New.